Go GREEN or go home

It has been a long while since I blogged and I could tell you all about why, but right now I have something more important to share. A few hours ago I was just a single girl with a happy life. But as you will soon see, I may have just become something much more.

So brace yourself.

I am about to tell a story that may shock you.

I have lived in my apartment for almost 18 months now. It is a beautiful third floor apartment with 9 foot ceilings and crown molding and I have been very happy here. My roommate and I work to keep it tidy and I had never ever seen a single unwanted creature with an exoskeleton lurking in any of its well vacuumed or dusted corners. I say 'had' because today it finally happened. My roommate is out of town so I was alone in my kitchen dishing up some Blue Bell while watching the season finale of Bachelor Pad when I saw something run across the counter and realized I was not actually alone. (I realize there is more than one part of the previous sentence that makes me sound slightly pathetic, but if you can overlook that I would greatly appreciate it.)

My heart dropped into my stomach. Not only do I hate almost all creatures with exoskeletons, but there is no man in my life who kills bugs for me (though I honestly almost called my home teachers) AND to make it worse it had been so long since I had been called upon to kill a bug that I felt terribly out of practice! I have no bug killing sprays or devices in my apartment simply because I have not needed them!

So with my eye on that dirty little intruder I squatted down to open the cupboard under my sink and felt around for any bottle with a sprayer on it. The winner was a 97% naturally derived all-purpose cleaner that I found at Target. Now up to this point that repulsive creature had not moved an inch. He merely stood there taunting me. But as soon as I aimed that bottle he started to run. With my left hand I attempted to move things out of the way of my spray and with my right I sprayed with all my might.

The chase lasted for what seemed like an eternity, but as you can probably tell because I am alive to tell the story, I ended as the victor and he ended drowning in a pool of naturally derived foam. (Which, as a side note, I feel is a much more humane way to kill bugs seeing that it was 'green' and all.)

After a last victorious spray directly up into the air and a maniacal laugh I looked around at my kitchen.

Not a single moveable appliance was in its place and neither was anything else. That tiny exoskeletanous creature (yes, that word is made up) had set fire to a rage I didn't know existed inside of  me and turned me into a monster. 

And with that realization came another:
I am pretty much THE INCREDIBLE HULK.

So I cleaned up my kitchen, which I had already conveniently sprayed down with a wonderful smelling green cleaner, and basked in the greatness of my new found super powers.

I guess a hero just doesn't know he is a hero until he has to fight a villain.